- Published on
The Drowsy Oak
- Authors
- Name
- Lorselq
- @lorselq
The Poem
Red leaves
remember spring
as the oak relates youth---
its bark covers old sores probed by
the rain.
Bodies
gather tight, close---
morning rain by the oak.
Their skins listen to the thunder,
naked.
Homeless
live by the oak,
sleeping in the wet soil.
For their worn skin, brown from the earth,
I weep.
Our ghosts
shrink from the rain
that beats the drowsy oak.
Even they will slumber for chance
to rest.
Gray clouds
crumble to mist
The sun rouses to mourn
Our coming end: from dirt to death
to dream.
Red leaves
gather tight, close---
sleeping in the wet soil;
even they will slumber for chance
to dream.
Commentary
A combination of a crown and garland cinquain, experimenting with some line-reprisals. There is actually some pretty tricky stuff going on in here. Cinquains are somewhat difficult to begin with, communicating some of the difficulty the haiku has in Japanese, and writing a collection that fuses lines from each collection in a descending manner is kind of... I'm pleased with this one because of its structure.